I spent the last weekend in Arizona for a family reunion of sorts, many stories I hear that start like this are negative—family reunions are not always looked upon with anticipation or joy—and while there are of course things in anyone’s family that do not sit well or agree with them, I had an enjoyable time. There are a couple cousins in particular (who are brothers (as in the two cousins are brothers, they’re not my brothers)) that are creepy, not in the sense that they are sketchy people but in the sense that they live almost parallel lives to mine. I only see them once every year or two, a person can change a lot in that amount of time, but regardless of how I change, they make the same change. Every time I do see them, we’ve listened to the same bands, saw the same movies, watched the same internet videos, wore the same clothes, played the same video games, and so on…while this is generally limited to surface things it still freaks me out.
I was recently talking to a friend who was sharing a few of the things going on in his life, and was surprised to discover that I am going through many of the same kind of things, but was relatively unaware that I was going through said things until he began to talk about them. During this conversation I was also reminded of a different friend who had been going through said things a few months previous, and was struck with reality for a moment by realizing how much more common said things are than I thought them to be.
Another one of my best friends and I quite often (usually more than once a day) will say exactly what is on the other’s mind, sometimes just before the other gets ready to say it, regardless of subject matter—unlike my two cousins (who are brothers), this extends from random, inconsequential passing thoughts to heavy realizations. This is perhaps the epitome of creepiness in this series of similarities.
And I share these scenarios because a lot of times I feel like I’m the only one who knows what it’s like to struggle with what I struggle with, to experience what I experience, to think the things I think, to love the things I love. A lot of times we feel alone. And I don’t mean physically alone. You can be in a room with a hundred other people and feel alone. You can be with your closest friends, and still feel alone, because you don’t have to be apart to be alone. The reason I share these scenarios is that we are not alone. I am beginning to discover that the root of loneliness is fear. Feeling like you’re the “only one” is a direct result of nothing more than invulnerability. Many of my friends know this was a struggle for me in the last year, being vulnerable. Sharing experiences and thoughts. And as ironic as this is, no one is alone in feeling alone. Everyone has secrets—if not from everybody, at least from somebody. But as I shared, I’m coming to the realization that there are more people going through the same things as me than I think. There are more people experiencing what I experience and loving the things I love and struggling with the things I’m struggling with than Satan tells me. But we only discover this in sharing. If we never tell someone how we feel, they’ll never have anything to reply “me too!” to. We’ll never be together if we allow ourselves to be convinced that we’re apart.
This is particularly true as Christians, because we are “one body (1Co 12:12, Col 3:15).” We are to “live in harmony in the Lord (Php 4:2).” We are to “bear with each other (Col 3:13).” We are to “encourage one another and build each other up (1Th 5:11).” And we are all “partakers of grace (Php 1:7).” We do not fulfill fellowship when we keep things to ourselves (not to mention doing so makes us miserable). There is comfort in sharing our lives with each other, because there are a lot more similarities than we might think. And we don’t have anything to fear, because not even in death will we ever be alone.
“And surely I am with you always…” -Matthew 28:20
“For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him.” -Romans 6:9
“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” -Galatians 2:20
oh wow. talk about my life summed up in a blog. i think i brushed on this subject in my blog “no one is alone” a while ago. it doesn’t go into this much detail but it’s there nonetheless. as i realize and come to learn to be vulnerable and share with people, i learn more and more that it’s a fear of being exposed, a fear of being judged (even though someone can say 100 times that they won’t judge you), and more so, just a fear of letting your guard down because it means that there is more of a chance to hurt. That’s why it’s so hard to trust. But I’m realizing more and more that it’s a fear and, being a Christian, there is no excuse for fear of anything if you think about it. Because having fear means not having faith to some degree. So it’s a choice. Do I give in to my fear and live with it or do I fight to overcome it. The more I grow, the more I like the latter of the two. Sorry that this comment has turned to talking about me. I DO know how much of a struggle it’s been for you to be vulnerable and I’m so proud of how far you have come. I can’t wait to have an extensive conversation with you about all of this in the apartment in about 18 days :0) Ok, so considering I’m meesh, I’m going to leave you in true meesh style. Here’s an awesome quote said by Nelson Mandela that popped into my head as I was reading this.
‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that frightens us. Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.’
-Nelson Mandela
love ya!
p.s. i agree that it’s really creepy when people say what you are thinking. it happens to me a lot lol.
Can I just say that I freaking LOVE the both of you? For real? Ah, I love yall and your fight with putting yourselves out there in and for the pursuit of God. mmh!! Love it!
P.s. I think your blog is really relative to a lot of people.
if not all people. okay, fail. Relative to everyone.